Everyone loves a good story. There’s the intrigue of getting to know the characters, the excitement of figuring out the plot, and the satisfaction of a good ending — even better when there’s a strong, powerful underlying moral. Hearing a good story for the very first time is how I perceive getting to know a friend.
Oftentimes, we meet people within a particular context and, with that, comes many assumptions that I’m assuming are mutually assumed. When you meet someone new at your Church, you likely assume that they share the same Faith denomination as you which can potentially lead to subsequent assumptions of their political opinions and moral standards. My challenge and something that I am working on in my own life is to stop assuming and start asking questions. Put more directly, turn your assumptions into questions and ask them as such. Perhaps you’ll be surprised to learn that you’ve assumed wrong, perhaps you’ll find yourself in the middle of a really great conversation, or perhaps you’ll discover that you have a lot in common with each other.
One of my favorite things is asking couples how they met. The story oftentimes begins by them saying “We met at Church/a concert/a bar/blind date/ at school/at work/etc.” then they take turns answering the question of why they were there by telling the circumstances of what led them to be at Church that particular time, why they went to that concert, the bar, who set them up on the blind date and why they agreed to it, why they went to that school, what led to their employment at that particular job, etc. That backstory really can set the tone for the friendship to unfold.
My challenge to you, my dear readers, and to myself is to intentionally cultivate friendships now while you’re living in the gap. You have the time (if you don’t have the time then you’re either lying to yourself or there’s an imbalance somewhere in your life where you might need to reconsider your priorities) and I promise you that you won’t regret it. I would personally rather be hurt by a friend than miserable and lonely. Further, I’ve watched my older siblings experience some really hard things that life can throw at you and their experiences of them would be vastly difference sans support from the groups of friends which they have cultivated over time.
And there’s my final thought: give yourself time. This isn’t going to happen overnight. Persevere through time and allow yourself to one day be surprised when you realize that you have friends — and really, really good friends! The brilliance of a well-written story isn’t limited to the intelligence of one person. The author gathers ideas over time, is inspired by friends and other experiences who don’t even know the profound affect they’re having on the author and then the story is finally written. You are a necessary, beautiful part of your friends’ stories — and your own! Enjoy the time you have to get to know yourself and your friends (both new and old), cherish the memories and take the time every day to express gratitude for beauty of your story and all of the characters in it.
________________________________________________________________________
Hey friends! Thanks for being here and reading along with my pursuit of an abundant life (cf John 10:10)! I’m excited to share that my story with mental illness, written in the form of a letter for the blog The Catholic Woman and their series Letters to Women, will be published there on September 25. Please join me in praying for the letter and for everyone who will read it. When it is published, I need your help! I hope that this letter reaches many hearts but I can’t do that by myself. Please share my letter when it is published. Sometimes what people won’t hear from their family members they will from someone else. This story isn’t so much about mental illness as it is about God’s love and mercy and how I came to find my home in his heart.
As always, I’m also over on Instagram and I enjoy connecting with you there! @sarahloutherese.
God bless, and keep your heart up!
