Baby steps are some of the sweetest, most beautiful and joyful moments of life to behold, aren't they?
Now, if you're anything like me, reading that first sentence might give you a little bit of angst. You might be thinking, "I guess so but, really, I wish I could see some faster progress quicker." I'm right there with you. But just for this moment, recall a time in your memory where you've watched a little child toddle around, exploring this thing called walking and the opportunities that strong legs give you for exploring this world around you. Now reread the first sentence. Do you see the looks of utter joy, excitement, maybe awe and wonder -- utter astonishment -- on the child's face?
Truth be told, after several years of taking giant steps, I've spent the last few years focusing on little baby steps. The giant steps (moving back home, stabilizing my health, moving out again) didn't feel good; these baby steps (though they are in areas of life that I wish would move faster) are tiny treasures that I choose to take delight in -- and they sometimes result in a giant step that I didn't see coming.
A recent baby step was visiting an Adoration chapel. It'd been on my heart to revisit the one nearby but if it's something that I've never done or haven't done in a long time, then I pretty much have to just go one time -- break the ice, if you will -- to show myself that I can do it, it isn't as scary as it seems, and there's no lifelong commitment involved. So that's exactly what I did one evening during Lent: driving by that Adoration chapel, I decided to just go for it and make a quick visit.
That visit did result in making a longer commitment and that longer commitment became an invitation to come more frequently. During a holy hour on Easter Sunday, the Lord invited me to make a holy hour every day to celebrate the Octave of Easter. The idea made so much sense and gave me such joy that I had to say yes! I loved the daily holy hours so much that I've continued making them, praying every day that the Lord will guide my thoughts, actions and steps to help me return for another hour the following day.
My heart has such peace and joy now and something to look forward to every day. And it didn't take me long to realize that I'm better rested now that I make that time to go visit the Lord every day. As I write this post is case and point: it's a Saturday morning and I was up bright and early today! After a long week with my precious preschoolers, that never happens. I always turn off all Saturday morning alarms and let myself sleep for as long as I need. Usually that's somewhere between 8-9am; today I was wide awake at 6:30 and I tried to go back to sleep but to no avail. I was so grateful because I truly love early mornings but I so rarely have the opportunity to actually enjoy them.
Going to Adoration that first evening was a baby timidly taking that first step. Continuing to go to Adoration was that baby starting to practice more and gaining confidence and stability. Making these daily holy hours is that baby discovering a new favorite mode of transportation. There's nothing of an immediate, tangible change of daily life that goes with these steps (unless I happen to meet my husband there but, even if I do, I suspect many baby steps will precede that realization). But becoming a person who is led by joy? That's worth a million baby steps!
Lord, find me grateful.
