We lost an hour of sleep last night yet I'm still titling this post "marvelous". Spring is upon us, the days are steadily growing longer and, in the last couple of weeks, I've spent more time outside than I have in the last two months combined! I've continued therapy and have been making connections that I had never previously made before regarding why certain things trigger me and how to better prepare for them in the future. I've also realized that I have a better relationship with certain things than I realized and therefore, while things like the death of a loved one will never actually leave one, I can more fully accept the joy that I truly do have for ever having known that person in the first place. I don't have to feel guilty for being joyful; I can just be joyful!
This week and next, I'll be taking a couple of days off from work. The timing of which is fantastic as it actually allows me to have three 4 day weeks in a row (we get Good Friday off!). Now, when I told one of my favorite (sincerely favorite) coworkers that I'll be off and who will be covering my class in my absence, my coworker threw her head back and laughed out loud. We do not expect our "favorite" coworker to enjoy the extra hours. Meanwhile, I will not worry about it at all. I don't expect it to go well but it is what it is. Once I return to work following my long weekend, I'll transition my students out of naptime and into quiet activities (hopefully largely miscellaneous art projects, if I can get my act together). They've all largely outgrown their naps by now and I foresee the change as being far less stressful for everyone.
I haven't finished any books lately though I am slowly rereading Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers (a modern-ish retelling of the book of Hosea, from the bible) in anticipation of the movie scheduled to come out at some point this year. I must have more going on in my life now than I did the first time I read it: then, it took me 5 days to finish. Now, the only time I seem to be able to find to actually sit down and read for even 20 minutes is when I'm in Adoration! Still, it's a really nice story, I love the author, and am committed to finishing it. I recommend it (both title and author) for anyone looking for a light, enjoyable yet still deep read.
Earlier this week, I realized that I still haven't been to confession this Lent. I further realized that St. Joseph's feast day is on Friday and it's still a little unreal to me how much I love him, so I'm a little sad that the class I'm taking next weekend probably won't allow me to go to Mass. I've decided, instead, to find an opportunity this week to go to Confession in St. Joseph's honor. That's a really good incentive for me, especially it if ends up entailing me to go out of my way!
Because I asked him, my spiritual director gave me a very small -- yet still hard -- idea of what to do for Lent. It's essentially to let Jesus teach through me more. Of course, when I'm in the moment with my preschoolers, I'm not usually able to step back far enough to remember to pray but I've been praying the Fragrance Prayer every morning. One thing I've noticed is that the kids' goofiness at inappropriate times bothers me much less than it did a few weeks ago. Then, I would have gotten mad at them while simultaneously frozen in place and not necessarily following through on disciplinary actions. Now, I simply stand up, take the child firmly by hand without saying a word, and walk them out of the classroom to sit quietly in the library by our fish tank so that they can take a deep breath. Usually, one of our administrative staff is nearby and they can also help the child process their goofy behavior and bring them back to class when they're ready in a few minutes. This is, of course, far more effective than acting out of anger which the children generally find funny (and who can blame them). Dr. Maria Montessori said to "remove evil (note the little 'e') behavior immediately" from the classroom so that the children learn that appropriate boundary and that is exactly what I've just described. But then it's also very important to find the balance between correcting inappropriate behavior and then rewarding the positive outcome of said correction.
Before leaving, I'd like to add one final thing to this post. I've watched this video several times this week and it blows me away. Nightingale is usually performed with a flute. The human voice isn't really supposed to be able to sing it, high as it is. But then there's Yanni. Yanni has a knack for finding obscure instruments that no one has ever heard of (hello, duduk) and normalizing them in his music. The same is true of vocalists. So he found Lauren Jelencovich somewhere and she can sing Nightingale not just well but, well, flawlessly. Another thing I love about Yanni is that, yes, he and his collection of musicians and singers are technically performers but Yanni himself has so much love and respect for each note and pause within the music that the richness, depth and ultimate highest beauty of music is still there. This is tangible in this video. Here you are... See you next month!
