I smile back on that day now. It was before I entered remission following my breakdown, before I landed my current job, and while I could wash my then very long hair in the late morning then sit outside in the Summer sun for the next hour or so while it slowly dried. Every day. It was during those few months that the thing I looked forward to the most were my weekly meetings with this therapist. I smile thinking of how I lived those days. They were slow but they were so good for me. I was learning how to embrace my life in the now, caring less and less about yesterday or tomorrow. I was learning to love the present.
And my therapist was absolutely correct. Life sure did become so much more full and it really didn't take long! I spent that school year learning the lay of the land at my new -- current -- school and loving every bit of it. The following year, I was promoted to working full-time and did a show as musician. Though my "yes" to the show was oh-so-reluctant, I ended up rediscovering my love of music and accidentally discovered a new passion!
My life today is unrecognizable to the girl who sat outside letting her hair dry slowly in the Summer sunshine. In fact, I recently enjoyed a day of doing very, very little and I basked in the simplicity of it, chuckling with gratitude about how much I love my beautifully full and abundant life now, so much so that slower days like these no longer make me feel stuck in my state of singleness. On the contrary, they make me feel strong knowing that my life now has a healthy balance of rest, work, socializing, passions, nutrition, reading, writing, music and all of the sweet little things that I enjoy doing and being.
This is a good, wonderful, abundant life. Lord, find me grateful!
