A Christmas Carol was none of this. It was St Louis and depression era. No Christmas trees, little-to-no decorations, an old barn on the left, a little house on the right, and old clothing that supposedly barely kept us warm out there in the freezing cold (I won’t mention that the heat was on in the community center and us actors/musicians were trying so hard not to die on stage). Yet there was nothing like being on that stage in the midst of the script come to life and surrounded by all these talented people that truly put me in the Christmas spirit. As a cast, we endured our own hardships apart from the characters we portrayed: illness was everywhere and understudies were brought in from among the cast (except for when I got sick but played fiddle anyway. No one in the cast could learn an instrument that fast. More on that experience coming next week!). Yet our joy was almost tangible and made for a truly extraordinary experience.
I was surprised, then, when it came time for the cast party and I did not fully enjoy the Christmas decorations of our wonderful host. Don’t get me wrong: they were beautiful! Pretty close to that Hallmark Christmas movie I’ve long been dreaming of. Maybe I was exhausted? Perhaps still recovering from my illness? Both are likely and I was certainly still in that moment of “a truly extraordinary experience” I just mentioned seeing that I was still surrounded by the incredible cast and others who had come to celebrate with us. So why could I not fully appreciate what I thought were my favorite kinds of decorations? I decided to not think too hard about it and continued to enjoy the moment.
The next morning I had an anxiety attack first thing and ended up taking that and the following day off from work - doctor’s orders. Apparently, getting back to normal routines is a more challenging mental shift than I anticipated. I suspect many can relate, if we’re being honest.
It took a few more days to finally put my finger on it and then it struck me right at my core. I was telling my mom something about how easy it was for me to be in the Christmas spirit on stage despite the drab surroundings when out came the words: “Festivity is about the joy not the decorations.”
If that is the reason why God called me back on stage to be a part of A Christmas Carol and learn a lesson like that then it was all completely and utterly worth the anxiety attacks, illnesses, and stress of leaving my students early every day and in the hands of my capable albeit young high school assistants. Christmas is not about the kind of tree, how luminous the decorations, or how many gifts you buy. If I carry the joy of Christmas in my heart - the joy that Jesus came that we might have - then the middle of January can very well be the most festive time of the year.
